Pai

Pai is a tiny town in the far northwest of northern Thailand. It is nestled in the mountains which means to get to it you have to go across the mountains. The road from Chiang Mai to Pai only takes 3 hours, yet there is only one bus a day. The bus company does however run numerous minivans that leave every hour. The fact that the bus company uses minivans instead of buses was clue number one. The fact that next to the ticket office in the bus station was a large stall selling motion sickness tablets was clue number two. The road to Pai is infamous for its 762 hairpin curves and travelling them at speed is not dissimilar to riding a roller coaster at the theme park – one of the horrific ones. Three minivans left the station at the same time. I was fortunate to get a window seat with an openable window but you are not supposed to open them due to the air con. Our air con was very ineffective. My minivan was full of Chinese tourists. They are not famed for their travel ability. The first half hour was great, then we started to climb. Then I thought we had accidently stumbled onto Brans Hatch. We were taking corners so fast I couldn’t focus on the scenery, it was blurring – I had to close my eyes. I was beginning to turn green, as was everyone else, but luckily we pulled into a rest stop.

The second part of the journey was far worse than the first. Speedy Gonzales our driver didn’t care about the cries coming from the back. Then the first girl started to throw up. Speedy stopped to let her out for 5 mins, but then appeared to go even faster to make up for lost time. More people started to throw up, Speedy continued without slowing down. Bugger the ineffective air con, I had the window open, dissipating the smell, my head was sticking out of the window and I had my earphones on full to block out what was happening in the rest of the van. Speedy stopped a couple more times so bags of vomit could be disposed off, but he never considered going that little bit slower. By the time we arrived in Pai, I was feeling a little shakey but the rest of the passengers looked like death. Then I noticed the time. We had arrived way ahead of schedule – in fact it was another 45minutes before the other vans which set off at the same time as us, pulled into the bus station. Trust me to get the dodgy speed freak driver –those Chinese tourists will certainly never forget that journey!
Despite the journey from hell, Pai was worth it. The town is centered around 4 main streets, with the river running alongside it and the mountains looking down. There is very much a laid back hippie feel here, with the cafes selling health juices and tonics, offering meditation and selling alot of tye-dye clothing and crystals. It is certainly the dreadlock capital of Thailand. Most of the Thai locals have long hair (men) and tattoos (women). I’ve never seen a tattooed Thai lady anywhere else! I fell in love with the scenery instantly – I knew Pai would appeal to me far more than Chiang Mai.

There were food stall setting up shop that afternoon and as I was nibbling on some gorgeous chive and corn veggie concoction, I ran into some people I had met at the Chiang Mai bus station. They had been luckier and had a slower minivan. VJ and Steph were a couple from New Zealand, whilst Andreas from Germany was travelling solo until his girlfriend joins him in a couple of weeks. We decided to explore Pai together. We found many bars and a great little place that did Passionfruit mojitoes. They also had a pub quiz on. Steph and I were keen to join but the boys didn’t want to pay the entry fee. Anyway I heard most of the questions –and would you believe it, if we had of entered we would have stomped to victory. Oh well. The next day we hired a couple of scooters. Andy offered to drive whilst I rode pillion. He drives a motorbike in Germany and I felt safe on the back. VJ however was a bit of a boy racer and Steph was forever telling him to slow down. Some of the side roads in Pai are ridiculously steep. The road to a certain viewpoint was that steep that the pillion passengers had to jump off as the bikes couldn’t make it. We also walked back down that road, getting back on the bikes half way down. There was a Chinese tourist there in tears – she was wearing heels and was scared simply to walk down the road – her bike and driver had already gone ahead to the bottom. We visited a couple of waterfalls and had a coffee break at a great little place that had giant swinging chairs to enjoy the view from. Our new moto gang only lasted for the day as all three of left the following day. After waving them off, I wandered about wondering how to occupy myself. Massage and cookery school was the answer.

I had been fortunate to find a great little guesthouse in town that only charged me 100B a night for an ensuite bungalow. (That’s £2.50) Others were paying 150B for a dorm bed with shared bathrooms. As well as the rooms, Mr Jan’s Guesthouse also offered massage. There was the normal thai massage and something called Shan massage. Shan are an ethnic group. I decided to go with Shan. A Thai massage is intense – it is not relaxing. Your limbs are twisted and contorted around your body – it is something to be endured for health benefits. The Shan massage made the Thai one look like childs play. An older lady led me into her front room where she had a mattress and some medical mussel group drawings in the corner. Then she dealt beside me and prayed over me. I have had lots of massages now in Thailand, but I have never been prayed over – what on earth was going to follow? Pain was the answer. First she pushed her elbow into every part of my body, this was followed by a finger tip squeeze and prod everywhere – particularly painful on your thighs. Next was the bodywide Chinese burn. To cap it all off she then stood on me and pulled my arms and legs out of their sockets. I know someone who has endured this for two hours but one hour was enough for me. I did feel as light as a feather afterwards. The next day I was surprised to discover that I had not one bruise on my body – I honestly thought i would have been covered with them.

The next day was cookery school. When I booked (yesterday afternoon) there were 3 participants. Now there were 7. This made the day slightly confusing and hectic as everyone was doing different dishes and Geow was shouting 5 different sorts of instructions. I started off with a Pad Thai and was very surprised to find ketchup being used as an ingredient. I went on to make my own green curry paste in a giant pestle and mortar before making the curry. I made a papaya salad, very spicy – I can’t normally eat these as crushed peanuts are in the dressing so it was good to finally taste this little firecracker. I also made spring rolls, sweet and sour and a coconut soup. Geow took us all to the market which was fascinating. I tried fruit I had not tried before and saw many weird and wonderful ingredients including grubs, deep fried chicken intestine and raw mince salad. By the end of the day, not only was I tired but I was so stuffed I could hardly walk.

The following day (Sunday) I got a pleasant surprise. My friends Alvena and Tanya were coming to Pai on my recommendation. I had planned on doing some cycling today but as it got to 36 degrees I was glad of the excuse of showing Alvo and Tanya around. One of places I took them was the Almost Famous bar and the passionfruit mojitoes! Bikes were rented on the Monday and Alvena spent alittle time teaching me how to ride. She used to teach her friends how to ride bikes on her farm in Austrailia. Very soon I was out on the very quiet highways going a staggering 30km an hour! We visited another waterfall, the Pai Canyon, the world war 2 memorial bridge – where a local dresses up as Captain Jack Sparrow and takes photos of you (he looks amazing!), and lots of tourist photo stop places. It was great fun. We even had a couple of hours riding about Tuesday morning before it was time to return the bikes and say goodbye to the girls. I probably won’t see them again as they I going down to Phukett but I have somewhere to stay if I ever visit Australia!

My last couple of days in Pai were spent relaxing in hammocks at the water’s edge and having yet more massages. At the second hand market I managed to pick up some “genuine” David Beckham Addidas trainers for 80B (£2) and was fortunate to spy the cartoon portrait man with no queue of people waiting. I have been trying to get a portrait done for 5 days but he is very popular. All too soon it was time to leave. I have been in Pai 8 days and I could easily stay longer but time is pressing on and I must head towards the Laos border.

Chiang Mai

Chiang Mai is the centre of Northern Thailand and for a vast number of travellers, it is their favourite place in Thailand. Maybe it was the expectation, because although it was a nice, relaxed place – for me it did not have that wow factor. That something that makes you fall in love with a place.

It started off really well. My bus arrived on time and I successfully avoided all the tuk-tuks and taxi’s trying to get an inflated price from the tourists. I headed over to the red songthaew’s. Songthaew are like mini pick up trucks with two planks / seats in the back. They are a shared public taxi. I climbed in the back with the locals and got dropped off in the middle of the city, exactly where I wanted to be. Another helpful Thai gave me precise directions to my guest house, a 5 min walk away. The guesthouse was run by a chap from Marseille and alot of French ex pats hung out there. That first evening I was bought a number of beers (wasn’t allowed to buy any back) given chocolate and promised a discount on the cheese platter if I went to Jean’s French restaurant. The next day I simply pottered about getting my bearings. There are two parts to Chiang Mai. The old city and the new. The old city is surrounded by a moat and has some sections of the city wall remaining. Only tiny sections though – its not York! It is only a mile square though it is crammed with hundreds of tiny streets, so walking around is very time and energy consuming. Over 20 temples are inside the old city with even more in the new city. That afternoon a tremendous downpour flooded the streets in a matter of minutes. An hour later – all that surface water had vanished. (York could certainly learn some lessons here) Unfortunately sudden heavy downpours were to become a regular feature of my time here. The rain is that ferocious that everything comes to a stop. Wearing rainmacs and carrying umbrellas doesn’t help because the roads so quickly become ankle deep – then walking becomes tricky. Its best to wait the “showers” out.

Chiang Mai is used as a hub for those who want to go trekking in the mountains and visit the hill tribes. I only have flipflops at the mo and thought it would be easy to find trainers or the like here, as it is the trekking hub. I even got friends looking out for sturdy footwear but none was to be found – not even in one of the worlds largest market (more of that later). So with no footwear, trekking was out of the question. As were the adventure activities. There are some amazing zip-line courses in the vicinity but at £75 per person for a 3 hour max session – well its cheaper to go to Alton Towers for the day. There are elephant sanctuary nearby too but these cost between £75 - £150 for the day, It is a once in a lifetime experience but its equivalent of a week budget for me. There may be opportunities for elephants elsewhere, hopefully. Overall I have found Thailand very expensive when it comes to tours and excursions and activities nearly double the price of Cambodia and Vietnam.
My Australian friends Alvena and Tanya who I met in Halong Bay are also in Chiang Mai so a few evenings have been spent very pleasantly imbibing the odd drink or two and eating lots of food. The two things that Chiang Mai is outstanding at are markets and food. There are lots of little day markets selling fresh food, plus a daily night market that takes over a large swathe of the new city. The night market is primarily aimed at tourists, the day markets are for locals. I found a woman selling maggots, grubs, fried cockroaches, spit roasted frogs not to mention live bees. These were not caged or under wraps but buzzing about near her. She had a bag with honeycomb in, so they stayed more or less around this bag.

On Friday night a local lady introduced me to red snapper which had been covered in salt than baked. Peel off the skin to discover the nicest fish I have ever tasted whilst at the Saturday market I gorged on bbq squid and heaps of mussels with a spicy sauce. I joined Alvo and Tanya to explore the gigantic Sunday walking market. They close off over half the old city to traffic and line the streets with stalls selling everything you can think off, from delicate lighting for your home, to stone statues, to touristy clothes and paintings, even outfits for your cats and dogs. The great thing about being three people instead of one is that we could try and share more dishes. We tried northern fish curry, fried quails egg with spicy sauce, potato twists with paprika, steamed pumpkin, mussel and seafood thai omelette followed by coconut corn pancakes and fresh coconut juice. The others also tried various meats on a stick, Alvena declaring the pork crackling that the thai’s are very fond of “food of the gods”. Its a shame I have no space in my backpack because even a reluctant shopper like me could find so many things to buy. The photo above is of omelet cooked in banana leaves on a grill - not to be confused with a thai omelet which is practically deep fried.

To try and counter the effects of all that food I hired a bicycle for the day. My plan was to cycle by the river and out into the countryside. Chiang Mai however had other plans. It is mainly a one way city so trying to get to your destination can be quite a circular route. Once I had managed to find my way to a bridge across the river I was very disappointed to find out that there was no river path. Only large roads and none with a river view. It is here after being back in Thailand for 10 days that I realised that Thai’s drive on the left, I had been cycling on the right as in Cambodia and Vietnam. In my defence, up until this point I had only been on dual carriageways and one way systems! I also realised that you couldn’t easily get into the countryside. After an hours cycling I was still in an urban sprall. Worse, I had also a couple of times ended up on the super highway. The motorway that rings outer Chiang Mai with cars and lorries hurtling past me at 100km an hour. Luckily there was a huge hard shoulder – I came nowhere near the cars, but still, it was a little disconcerting. I had not intended to join the highway but some of the roads merge onto it with no warning and no chance of getting off it. Rather frustrated at my lack of green scenery I handed the bike back.

I spent my remaining time visiting some of the many temples in the old city. They are very impressive. From the ruins of Chedi Luang built in 1441 (top photo) to the gold and glitter of the pagoda temples. Wat Phra Singh has the most revered Buddha but it was two of its side temples that most impressive me. As I climbed the stairs to the temple (barefoot of course), I noticed some monks inside. There were no other tourists about and I did not know if I should enter or not – I did not want to disturb the monks. As I stood outside I realised that all 4 monks were uncommonly still. I gingerly made by way inside. It was not until I got sideways on to the monks that I realised that they were not real – they were waxwork dummies! The photo does not do them justice because in reality there are the most lifelike dummies I have ever seen. Madame Tussard should come here for tips. Speaking to fellow travellers later, it transpires I am not the only one to mistake the dummies for real monks. Wat Phra Singh had a third temple which had original murals painted on the walls. They had faded and peeled off in some areas but were beautiful to look at. What makes the temples in Chiang Mai different to others is the ‘Monk Chat’ program they run. You can sit in the grounds and ask the monks questions on Buddhism and their way of live. It is a chance for the monks to improve their English whilst imparting knowledge. They were a number of people taking up this opportunity whilst I was there. On the day I visited I had no unanswered questions in my mind so I left the monks alone. Despite the vast array of amazing food on offer and the healthy juices to be had in the numerous vegetarian cafes, I was pleased to be leaving Chiang Mai, venturing onwards to somewhere that may be more 'me'!

Back Into the Land of Smiles

My original plan was to travel the length of Vietnam and then cross into Laos from Northern Vietnam. What I didn’t realise was that this is a very little used border crossing and is hardly ever used my foreigners. There is no English spoken, nor are there any facilities for changing money. I would also be on an uncomfortable bus for up to 40 hours – the only food available being the meat and rice that comes as part of the bus ticket. As someone on her own with no Lao money, no language skills and a non meat eater, this did not seem the ideal journey. Instead I decided to fly back to Bangkok and then make my way through northern Thailand and cross into Laos that way.

So I caught the 9am flight out of Hanoi into Don Muang airport in Bangkok. This is not the main international airport but it is the one AirAsia use. If you get the option of using this airport – take it. Within 10 minutes of landing, I had walked the length of the airport, gone through immigration and picked up my luggage. A couple of minutes later, I was on the shuttle bus taking me directly to Mo Chit – Bangkoks main bus terminal. I bought a bus ticket to Sukhothai and within an hour of touch down I was driving out of Bangkok again. Landing back in Thailand felt wonderful, I was immediately relaxed, the people here are very helpful and rightly deserve their self given nick name of “The Land of Smiles”. Sukhothai is a small town just over halfway between Bangkok and Chiang Mai. Most travellers go directly to Chiang Mai but they are missing out on a little gem. Sukhothai was the first capital of the Kingdom of Siam established around 1240. Today the historical park containing the ruins of the ancient city has been granted Unesco status. What sets these ruins apart from others, is the immaculate grounds they are kept in. When I first arrived at the site, there were more gardeners, hedge cutters and leave sweepers than there were tourists.

The site is around 30 square miles but all the major sites are to be found in the central zone which is a tiny 3 sq mile area. I was going to cycle around the site as is the common practice but when I realised how tiny the central zone is – I decided to walk. Some of the ruins were that close to each other it was more hassle than it was worth to cycle between the two and find an empty cycle rack to leave the bike in. After a while more tourists arrived as did an extremely large school party, none of the tourists however appeared to venture further than the main temple Wat Mahathat and its incredibly large Buddha’s. I decided to sit for a while and wait them out. I saw a lovely looking bench in the shade of a large tree and thought – ah perfect. Only when I got to the bench I found a snake had beaten me to it and was happily basking in the sun. Not knowing if the snake was friendly or not, I opted for sitting on the floor in the direct glare of the sun rather than the bench. I spent a pleasant couple or so hours wandering the complex, continually astounded by the lack of tourists anywhere apart from the main temple. Then I treated myself to my latest addiction - a watermelon shake, before jumping on a bus to take me back to town. The new town, although it sees some tourists only has a couple of restaurants aimed at westerners. That food is tasty but small portions and not spicy. I ate at the local restaurants, some have translated part of their menu into English so I could order vegetarian curry – thai style. No idea what sort of curry it was, or indeed what was in it but the sheen of red oil on top indicated that it was going to be spicy. I had asked for “little spicy” but even so, at the local places, little spicy means enough spice to blow Zoe’s head off.

I then watched the locals perform open air keep fit with the music blasting loud enough to be heard on the opposite side of town. S.E.Asians do like their communal fitness in public places. Whilst I was very glad to be back in Thailand, two things came as an unwelcomed shock. First the mosquitoes, they were out in force. There had been no mossies in Vietnam, consequently I had gotten out of the habit of wearing repellent. That first day I was eaten alive. Something else I had gotten out of the habit of applying was sunscreen. There was no need when Hanoi was under a permanent downpour. As I arrived in Bangkok and Sukhothai there had been large thunderstorms, and as I set off around the ruins it had been overcast. Instead of raining – which is what I presumed would happen next, the sun came out. By the time I left the ruins and came home I realised I was sunburnt. In fact the next day it became obvious that I had been burnt quite badly on my shoulders. It is the first time this travels I have burnt but I will remember to carry the sunscreen about with me from now on. So as I left Sukhothai, my shoulders ached because of the burn and my legs hurt because of the bites. I may have looked and felt a mess, but I was glad I stopped here!

Hanoi - bloody stupid town planning

Hanoi is the capital of Vietnam, although you wouldn't think it as it is alot smaller than Ho Chi Minh City, practically all the international flights go from HCMC rather than from Hanoi and weather wize - it is awful.

I know it is rainy season in Vietnam but Hanoi takes this to a whole other level. Basically it starts to rain in July and doesn't stop until the beginning of October. On good days the rain will stop by mid afternoon on the majority of days it won't. Travel for a couple of hours outside Hanoi and it will be bright sunshine. So why make this grey miserable place the capital? You can see how overcast it is in the photo - and yes it was raining when I took this. This is a small shrine on an island in Hoan Kiem lake - in fact it is dedicated to a giant turtle. Legend has it that the King (in the 15 century)had a magic sword that defeated the Chinese, whilst on the lake a giant turtle took the sword and returned into the deep of the waters. So not a lady of the lake but a turtle of the lake! Now there is a large walkway that goes all around the lake with some tiny areas of park included in this pedestrianized walkway. What has this got to do with bad town planning I hear you ask. Well the walkway is tiled, similar to the floor you can see in the photo of the monk. It looks really good... however there is a small flaw with these tiles. When they become wet they become incredibly slippery - to the point where it can be dangerous to walk on them if it is raining. Its a good job it doesn't rain in Hanoi then!!!!!

I only had a few days in Hanoi after Halong Bay and after the second day of continual rain and greyness I decided to venture a little further afield on my last day in Vietnam. I joined a tour group going to visit the Perfume Pagada a couple of hours drive away. It is a temple built inside a mountain that is very important to the Vietnamese Buddhists. Alot of locals go on a pilgrimage there once a month. The pilgrimage had happened a few days earlier so the site would have few visitors. As we exited the minivan, the first thing I noticed was that it was dry. Although we had come to the end of the road, we were still a while from our destination. To get to the mountains you had to take the river. A small rowing boat picked us up and we were moving silently through the water lillies, gazing at the landscape.I do enjoy a good boat ride and this had stunning scenery and the occassional family of white ducks. We were in the boat at least 40 minutes before arriving at the complex of temples. At the base of the mountain there were 6 additional temples. We visited a couple and as you can see the monk even posed for a picture. Before today I had not considered visiting a religious site an extreme activity - now I do. Remember that the Hanoi tiles were slippery, well the floor covering here was lethal. It wasn't even raining and they were still lethal. I could not stand up - every step was calculated - the slightest move could leave me with a broken leg. You have seen the cartoons where the character is wearing roller skates and is trying to stay upright whilst skating over marbles - that is a good indication of what I looked like. It wasn't just me and my flipflops though, the guide who was wearing sensible black patent shoes kept falling - as did the German girl wearing sturdy trainers. To make it even harder, as the path went up a mountain alot of these tiles were at 45 degree angles. Which ever town planner laid this floor was clearly insane.

After a small interlude for lunch we had a decision to make, climb to the top of the mountain or take the cable car. Our guide suggested cable car up and walk down. This brings me to extreme activity number 2 - cable cars. I really don't like them. Throwing myself out of a plane is fine but a box attached to a wire above a mountain has never seemed like fun. My co-passenger, a German pilot, tried to reassure me as he recognised the make of cable car. It was Austrian built and they are good at this sort of thing. I was fine until half way up when the cab went through a half way station. On exiting it lurched vigorously from side to side and was still rocking wildly when we reached the top. It was a short walk now until we reached the entrance of the temple. It is called the Perfume Pagoda due to the beautiful smell given off by the thousands of wild flowers that grow on the mountainside in summer. I was not expecting what I saw next. I descended some steps that led to a cave opening, I could see a small Buddhist shrine outside the cave - far enough, but as you moved into the cave entrance - WOW. The cave was filled with very impressive stalactites and stalagmites. We walked slowly amongst these, our guide explaining that each one meant something to the believers. There was a stalagmite to rub and pray to if you wanted to improve your health, or have a female child, or become more successful at work. My guide gave me a blessing at the fulfilled life stalagmite and slashed the water that was on the rock over me. At the bottom of the cave was the main shrine (photo above) where there were a number of people praying, hitting drums or in the case of the case of the gentleman above - reading aloud from scriptures.

After leaving the serenity of the cave came extreme activity number 3. Descending the mountain. I thought that as the path was mainly natural ie compacted mud instead of tiles that walking on it would be straightforward. Wrong. Alot of steps had been built into the path to make the journey easier. However these were very uneven and mainly sitting under a sheen of water. Walking on the steps was dangerous. Gingerly we all went slowly. Then some red mud started to appear on the steps - it had now become very difficult not to slide. Half an hour later, just for fun, a layer of wet leaves covered the muddy, slimy, waterlogged steps. And just as I thought walking could not get "tougher than this" the nightmare that is the green mud appeared. Green mud is to be greatly feared over the red mud. Red mus is easy to spot but green mud is almost invisible, blending in with the puddles and wet foliage. The first sign it is there is normally witnessing the legs of the person in front shoot out from under them. This really was the hardest walk I have been on and to cap it all - there was no view. It should have been a stunning vista walking down a mountainside but in was like walking through an open topped tunnel. Both sides of the path have permanent covered stalls along them blocking out all light. These are to sell souvenirs / offerings to the pilgrims. Thankfully today there were all empty. It was with a great sense of relief that we made it back down to the riverside. After the return boat then bus trip I was dropped off back in Hanoi next to the lake and turtle shrine. I decided not to venture onto the walkway. I'd been lucky so far today - I had no major falling over incident - but I did not want to push my luck!

Halong Bay

Halong Bay covers a huge area and is famous for its natural beauty and thousands of limestone karsts (or giant rocks). It has recently been named one of the new 7 natural wonders of the world. Naturally it is very popular with tourists and there are over 500 boats in the bay that offer cruises and overnight stays. I decided to spend a little more and go on one of the deluxe cruise options (I did not say luxury as I do not have $700 to spend on a three day excursion!)I chose a 3 day 2 night option, one night on the boat, one night in an eco resort on CatBa Island. I was picked up in my hotel in Hanoi and driven in the most comfortable minivan (it was like a luxury coach) - I honestly did not think it was possible to be transported in comfort in Vietnam, for the 4 hour trip to Halong Bay. Here we were put aboard a small tender boat and piloted out into the bay to meet our big boat - the Dragon Cruise Deluxe. It looked rather rickety from the outside - but the inside was a different matter.

I was very lucky - the ship was not full so I was given a room to myself - normally you would have to share. Not only was the room gorgeous but the bathroom was bigger than my hotel room had been in Hanoi! This I was not expecting. There were only 11 people on the boat - it can take 24 and I was seated with a great Australian couple Alvena and Tanya, everybody else kept themselves to themselves. The first order of the day was food, we were bought out giant platters of rice, noodles, greens, fish, prawns, squid, salad as well as a couple of meat dishes. I was also bought out an omelet to compensate for the meat dishes I could not eat. As we were eating the boat was moving to its first destination - the amazing cave. With very full stomachs we stumbled down the gangplank, not knowing exactly what to expect. Our guide Dung (pronounced Zun)pointed to some steps and said "up there". He then disappeared. As we arrived another 5 giant boats started off loading people so we started climbing quickly to try and escape the masses.

The cave was spectacular - full of stalactites and stalagmites. It was huge too and a walk way had been built around the cave to accommodate the thousands of visitors. It took a good half an hour to walk through the cave with plenty of ooooooh's and arhhhh's being heard. As soon as we were out of the cave the small tender boat immediately took us to our next stop. This karst had a tiny beach attached to it and we were given 45 minutes to either swim or climb to the top of the karst to see the view. It was drizzling by now and I didn't fancy sun bathing in the rain, so up to the top I went - but very slowly. It was incredibly steep and I was dripping in sweat. Even Tanya who is a fitness instructor and apparently never sweats - was sweating - much to the delight of her girlfriend Alvo. The view however was worth it - Halong Bay is stunning. After climbing down the 425 steps there was just enough time for a quick dip. The water was very pleasantly warm. On the photo below you can see what looks like a tiny pagoda on of the karst - that was the lookout point. There was no time to dry off and Dung now took us to our next activity. Here was me thinking I had signed up for a leisurely cruise - no. The activity was kayaking. They were double kayaks and I was teamed up with a young English lad named Mark. We went through a rock cave into a secluded inlet and away from all the boats. Despite our kayak not wanting to turn left without a struggle we had a great time. We got right up next to the rock face in hopes of seeing some of the wondrous wildlife that lives in the bay - but all we managed to see was a bird that looked remarkably like a gull. After exiting the kayaks, Dung gave us all half an hour free time in which we could have a shower! Our Kayak had been very full of water so I was sodden by this point and in need of warm water and dry clothes.

By now Dung had set up a demostration table and he showed us all how to make fresh spring rolls. More importantly, he demonstrated how to make the all important dipping sauce - I learnt the key element is equal quantities of sugar to fish sauce. The rolls were delicious, and then he invited everyone to have a go. Only myself, Tanya and Alvo were up for it, the rest simply sat in silence! Bizarrely i had to put on surgical gloves before I was allowed to wrap my own spring roll - this made the wrapping very tricky! Dung then made us elaborate flowers carved out of carrots and a swan tomato. He is a multi talented guy! After gorging on spring rolls we had to then sit down for tea, where they brought out even more food. I literally ate till I felt I was bursting - and it still looked as if we hadn't put a dint in the food on the table. After dinner, Dung then invited us all to eat with the crew and try some of their food. they were all eating in the little tender boat attached on our port side. Guess which 3 took him up on the offer. Only Tanya however ate. They were eating duck eggs with the embryos half grown inside. I had seen these before in China, were they are considered a delicacy. Apparently Tanya had tried them in the Phillopines so she was willing to eat them again. The crew were very impressed with her. They shared some of their lethal rice wine with us too.

The following morning we were taken to an oyster farm where they implant the oysters with starter pearls in order to cultivate the pearls. We actually saw the chaps doing this - which was fascinating. We had to check out of our boat and transfer to another dining boat for a relaxing cruise along the bay towards CatBa Island. We stopped off for a swim but as I had no towel with me I opted out. After giving us more food - this time deep fried seafood spring rolls, as a snack, we then had to sit down for lunch at half 11. I couldn't eat much, I was still full from breakfast. We arrived at a large rock and Dung announced we were here. This couldn't be CatBa Island surely - it was a vertical rock! Apparently the harbour and main town were on the opposite and flatter side. Here we were given a bicycle and told we had a nice 5km ride to where my bungalow and bed for the night was. (The others had opted for a hotel in town) The ride started out pleasant. Spectacular scenery and baby goats. Then there was a roadworks sign. There were no roadworks because the road was missing - in its place was a quarry - complete with jcb. It was mud and stones with ruts in the mud shin deep.

Obviously everyone had dismounted by this stage and was pushing the bikes through the mud. The bikes got slower and slower. Then Alvo cried "my flipflop is stuck." She was well and truly immobile and couldn't move. Trouble was I was behind here and couldn't pass and as I waited I too started sinking. Now I was stuck too. I could not lift my feet up. Dung was in hysterical laughter - he was on a motorbike, carrying the bags, and well and truly safe. In the end I had to dig my flipflops off and walk the rest of the quarry barefoot. By now there was that much mud on the bikes the wheels had clogged up with the mud between the wheels and the wheeltrims.Finally after alot of effort, everyone exited the quarry and then preceded to try and clear the wheels using big sticks. i wished I could have got a photo but my camera was away for safety. the road then split into two. A big sign said Danger. steep slope. Go the other way shouted Dung, so we did. But the road soon disappeared under rather alot of water. Oh its flooded cried Dung helpfully, but it did gives us all a chance to wash ourselves and the bikes in the flooded road. So we doubled back to take the Danger, steep slope raod and pushed the bikes to the top of the slope. From this point the bike ride really started - and it was very scenic riding through the jungle.

My bungalow was in a tiny village nestled at the bottom of these mountains. It was here I said goodbye to the others (they were going to the hotel) and Dung told me I had to be back at the dock at 9am tomorrow. i spent a great afternoon cycling around and waking through the jungle. I didn't attempt the 2 hour climb to the summit of the mountain as the path was a mud path only and I only had the not very mud friendly flipflops with me. Whilst walking in the jungle I came across an old abandoned monastery which was so atmospheric and wonderful. I was served a simple but tasty supper with the correct sized portions and after darkness fell i spent the evening reading. It was so relaxing - i made the right choice staying here over a soul-less hotel room. I awoke to a terrific thunderstorm with the rain still pelting down. This was going to make the cycle back even more adventurous! I donned my rain coat and set off. Surprisingly I made it through the quarry quite easily - I had found a much better route through the mud. But the rest of the path to the dock was completely underwater. I made it through and completely unscathed too, I even had 10 minutes to spare. The rain didn't ease all morning making our final cruise around the bay a little disappointing. Our boat had picked up another 12 people from somewhere, so now it was full. I'm so glad it hadn't been like that the full day i was on the boat. It would be great to see Halong Bay in the dry season but I don't think I would be able to cope with the crowds

After yet another enormous lunch at half 11 again we were taken ashore to where the same luxury minivan was waiting to take us all back to Hanoi. I arrived very tired back in Hanoi where I did not eat again for a good 24 hours!

Hue (Pronouced Way)

The drive from Hoi An to Hue is said to be the most scenic in all of S.E.Asia. It is hairpin bends all the way up a mountain till you get to the Hai Van pass where you look down onto crystal clear lagoons (and a leper colony). The Top Gear team spent along time praising the wonders of this drive. The train goes half way up the mountain and offers spectacular views as well. The bus however... well that goes through a tunnel in the mountain. On exiting the tunnel, the views were staggering and for once I was sat on the correct side of the bus to see it all. We got stuck in roadworks at one point but nobody minded a jot. It was quite disappointing to arrive at our destination.

Hue is a city split into two by a great river. Unless they are atop a mountain I have not come across a Vietnamese city that does not sit on the banks of a mighty river. The Perfume River (or Song Huong in Vietnamese) splits the new city from the old. In the new city there are the hotels, shops, restaurants whilst the old city not surprisingly hosts the old citadel. This moated citadel (looking a bit like an outer castle from a distance) was built by the Emperor in 1804. Inside this walled city are pagodas and ceremonial temples but the majority of it lies in ruins. You guessed it - the Americans bombed it - alot. The government is spending alot of time and money trying to restore it to its former glory. The wonder of the site is that you go from a throne room to a burnt ruined wall, you believe there is nothing there but if you peer around some gateways in the wall, instead of finding rubble you sometimes stumble across full standing houses or temples.

I spent a couple of hours exploring the complex and found amongst other things alot of hedges shaped into giant tortoises. There was the odd elephant as well but the tortoises outnumbered them significantly. I also found the private buddhist temple that belonged to the emperor's mother. The temple is still active today and the shrine had lots of offerings, what was unusual was that there was no guard sat outside. Even the toilets and the tortoise topiary had their own guards but the holiest place in the complex obviously wasn't deemed important enough! I left the citadel at a different gate from the one I had entered which was fortunate otherwise I would not have spotted the random collection of tanks and American aircraft that appeared to be lining the street. Did the Americans take any of their tanks home? because I have come across a fair number which appear to have been left in the street.

Hue is the city where the emperors once presided and as such it is also the city where they died. Hue has several royal tombs dotted around its outskirts and I took a trip to visit a couple of them. The tombs are set in large areas of land, some have forests and lakes that make up the sites. They are truly serene places. The tombs have a number of pagodas set in the grounds and Mandarin warrior statues (think terracotta soldiers but not as well made). the tombs also have a gateway somewhere within them that was only ever opened once and then sealed forever. It was opened to let the emperors coffin pass through. After passing the gateway, the coffin was taken into underground tunnels and laid to rest somewhere. the tunnels were collapsed afterwards to stop people knowing the location, or stealing the body or the grave goods.

The tombs were designed by the emperors when they were still alive and obviously they all tried to outdo their predecessors by being more beautiful, more symbolic or in the case of Khai Dinh (the penultimate emperor, he died in 1925) more gaudy. He broke with tradition and had a life sized statue and throne built out of mosaic. It was an interesting day out even if the heat and 100% humidity were really getting to me now. In fact I was coming down with a bad cold and sinusitis. Even walking down a flight of stairs when you are running a temperature here turns into an ordeal. I had no other choice but to take a couple of days off. I booked extra nights in the hotel and simply slept and rested. My hotel room even had a bath tub so I could have a long soak to relive my aching bones. When I was feeling half way human again I had to get moving and book on the dreaded and feared sleeper bus to Hanoi. It was a 14 hour journey and as I knew I wouldn't get any sleep, I wasn't looking forward to it ...