Pai

Pai is a tiny town in the far northwest of northern Thailand. It is nestled in the mountains which means to get to it you have to go across the mountains. The road from Chiang Mai to Pai only takes 3 hours, yet there is only one bus a day. The bus company does however run numerous minivans that leave every hour. The fact that the bus company uses minivans instead of buses was clue number one. The fact that next to the ticket office in the bus station was a large stall selling motion sickness tablets was clue number two. The road to Pai is infamous for its 762 hairpin curves and travelling them at speed is not dissimilar to riding a roller coaster at the theme park – one of the horrific ones. Three minivans left the station at the same time. I was fortunate to get a window seat with an openable window but you are not supposed to open them due to the air con. Our air con was very ineffective. My minivan was full of Chinese tourists. They are not famed for their travel ability. The first half hour was great, then we started to climb. Then I thought we had accidently stumbled onto Brans Hatch. We were taking corners so fast I couldn’t focus on the scenery, it was blurring – I had to close my eyes. I was beginning to turn green, as was everyone else, but luckily we pulled into a rest stop.

The second part of the journey was far worse than the first. Speedy Gonzales our driver didn’t care about the cries coming from the back. Then the first girl started to throw up. Speedy stopped to let her out for 5 mins, but then appeared to go even faster to make up for lost time. More people started to throw up, Speedy continued without slowing down. Bugger the ineffective air con, I had the window open, dissipating the smell, my head was sticking out of the window and I had my earphones on full to block out what was happening in the rest of the van. Speedy stopped a couple more times so bags of vomit could be disposed off, but he never considered going that little bit slower. By the time we arrived in Pai, I was feeling a little shakey but the rest of the passengers looked like death. Then I noticed the time. We had arrived way ahead of schedule – in fact it was another 45minutes before the other vans which set off at the same time as us, pulled into the bus station. Trust me to get the dodgy speed freak driver –those Chinese tourists will certainly never forget that journey!
Despite the journey from hell, Pai was worth it. The town is centered around 4 main streets, with the river running alongside it and the mountains looking down. There is very much a laid back hippie feel here, with the cafes selling health juices and tonics, offering meditation and selling alot of tye-dye clothing and crystals. It is certainly the dreadlock capital of Thailand. Most of the Thai locals have long hair (men) and tattoos (women). I’ve never seen a tattooed Thai lady anywhere else! I fell in love with the scenery instantly – I knew Pai would appeal to me far more than Chiang Mai.

There were food stall setting up shop that afternoon and as I was nibbling on some gorgeous chive and corn veggie concoction, I ran into some people I had met at the Chiang Mai bus station. They had been luckier and had a slower minivan. VJ and Steph were a couple from New Zealand, whilst Andreas from Germany was travelling solo until his girlfriend joins him in a couple of weeks. We decided to explore Pai together. We found many bars and a great little place that did Passionfruit mojitoes. They also had a pub quiz on. Steph and I were keen to join but the boys didn’t want to pay the entry fee. Anyway I heard most of the questions –and would you believe it, if we had of entered we would have stomped to victory. Oh well. The next day we hired a couple of scooters. Andy offered to drive whilst I rode pillion. He drives a motorbike in Germany and I felt safe on the back. VJ however was a bit of a boy racer and Steph was forever telling him to slow down. Some of the side roads in Pai are ridiculously steep. The road to a certain viewpoint was that steep that the pillion passengers had to jump off as the bikes couldn’t make it. We also walked back down that road, getting back on the bikes half way down. There was a Chinese tourist there in tears – she was wearing heels and was scared simply to walk down the road – her bike and driver had already gone ahead to the bottom. We visited a couple of waterfalls and had a coffee break at a great little place that had giant swinging chairs to enjoy the view from. Our new moto gang only lasted for the day as all three of left the following day. After waving them off, I wandered about wondering how to occupy myself. Massage and cookery school was the answer.

I had been fortunate to find a great little guesthouse in town that only charged me 100B a night for an ensuite bungalow. (That’s £2.50) Others were paying 150B for a dorm bed with shared bathrooms. As well as the rooms, Mr Jan’s Guesthouse also offered massage. There was the normal thai massage and something called Shan massage. Shan are an ethnic group. I decided to go with Shan. A Thai massage is intense – it is not relaxing. Your limbs are twisted and contorted around your body – it is something to be endured for health benefits. The Shan massage made the Thai one look like childs play. An older lady led me into her front room where she had a mattress and some medical mussel group drawings in the corner. Then she dealt beside me and prayed over me. I have had lots of massages now in Thailand, but I have never been prayed over – what on earth was going to follow? Pain was the answer. First she pushed her elbow into every part of my body, this was followed by a finger tip squeeze and prod everywhere – particularly painful on your thighs. Next was the bodywide Chinese burn. To cap it all off she then stood on me and pulled my arms and legs out of their sockets. I know someone who has endured this for two hours but one hour was enough for me. I did feel as light as a feather afterwards. The next day I was surprised to discover that I had not one bruise on my body – I honestly thought i would have been covered with them.

The next day was cookery school. When I booked (yesterday afternoon) there were 3 participants. Now there were 7. This made the day slightly confusing and hectic as everyone was doing different dishes and Geow was shouting 5 different sorts of instructions. I started off with a Pad Thai and was very surprised to find ketchup being used as an ingredient. I went on to make my own green curry paste in a giant pestle and mortar before making the curry. I made a papaya salad, very spicy – I can’t normally eat these as crushed peanuts are in the dressing so it was good to finally taste this little firecracker. I also made spring rolls, sweet and sour and a coconut soup. Geow took us all to the market which was fascinating. I tried fruit I had not tried before and saw many weird and wonderful ingredients including grubs, deep fried chicken intestine and raw mince salad. By the end of the day, not only was I tired but I was so stuffed I could hardly walk.

The following day (Sunday) I got a pleasant surprise. My friends Alvena and Tanya were coming to Pai on my recommendation. I had planned on doing some cycling today but as it got to 36 degrees I was glad of the excuse of showing Alvo and Tanya around. One of places I took them was the Almost Famous bar and the passionfruit mojitoes! Bikes were rented on the Monday and Alvena spent alittle time teaching me how to ride. She used to teach her friends how to ride bikes on her farm in Austrailia. Very soon I was out on the very quiet highways going a staggering 30km an hour! We visited another waterfall, the Pai Canyon, the world war 2 memorial bridge – where a local dresses up as Captain Jack Sparrow and takes photos of you (he looks amazing!), and lots of tourist photo stop places. It was great fun. We even had a couple of hours riding about Tuesday morning before it was time to return the bikes and say goodbye to the girls. I probably won’t see them again as they I going down to Phukett but I have somewhere to stay if I ever visit Australia!

My last couple of days in Pai were spent relaxing in hammocks at the water’s edge and having yet more massages. At the second hand market I managed to pick up some “genuine” David Beckham Addidas trainers for 80B (£2) and was fortunate to spy the cartoon portrait man with no queue of people waiting. I have been trying to get a portrait done for 5 days but he is very popular. All too soon it was time to leave. I have been in Pai 8 days and I could easily stay longer but time is pressing on and I must head towards the Laos border.