I was up early to catch a local bus out of Chiang Rai to Chiang Khong - a town that sits on the banks of the Mekong River and is where the border crossing over to Laos is situated. Thailand is on one side of the river whilst Laos is on the other side. I have caught local buses before but they have always been first or second class. These buses are in fact long distance coaches with air con and storage for backpacks under the coach. This bus was third class. That meant proper rickety bus, that looks over 50 years old – the air con being the windows and the seats being small and uncomfortable. The seats are benches designed for two?? Even two small Thai people couldn’t sit on them without putting their feet in the aisles!
The lady conductor indicated I should stack my luggage up on the back window seat, which I did, and was lucky to get the final window seat. Conductors are on all buses over S.E. Asia. The driver is there to drive, nothing else. The conductor issues tickets, asks where people want to get off, and shouts at the driver when the bus gets to a place a passenger wants. You can get off anywhere – it doesn’t have to be ay a designated stop. The journey through the mountains took 3 hours, after we pulled up at the local Esso station to fill up. We pulled up at a dusty station in what appeared to be a one road town. Tuk Tuk drivers asked me if I wanted the border, when I said no, they completely ignored me. They obviously don’t usually deal with people wanting to stay. Not to worry I had walking directions to a guesthouse. The guesthouse was in the other direction to town, which was a worry and by the time I got there I was too exhausted to go elsewhere. The single room was another cell like option with no windows. I told myself I would give it a try for the night. The guesthouse did give me use of a free bicycle though to get back into town. I quickly discovered this bike had no brakes whatsoever as I got to a junction and barely managed to avoid the motorbike (I did this by shouting and waving my arms at him, whilst the rider laughed at me).
I knew from research they was a place in town I could hire a decent bike so I set off to find it (carefully avoiding the road which had a steep descent on it). Alan Bates is a chap from Liverpool who has lived in Thailand for a number of years. In 2010 he broke the Guinness World Record for fastest bicycle circumnavigation around the world. He has a pub and bike museum in town and to say he likes bikes is an understatement. As soon as he saw me approach he came out of his pub and ordered me off the bike, declaring it a death trap. He then spent the next half hour trying to fix it so I could have least have working brakes. He told me to come back later that evening and he would give me a proper bike. I spent the rest of the afternoon exploring the one road town (but at least I didn’t run into anyone else at junctions). I did go back later but I never got the bike. The night quickly turned into a mad party complete with flavoured vodka shots, toe-wrestling (I was paired up with a real life muay-thai boxer, but I managed to keep him at bay for a while before he beat me) riding an impossible circus bike (should that be falling off a circus bike), dancing with the local ladyboys and Irish ballards – a couple of very drunk Irish lads joined us. At 3am I walked back home via the local market which was in full swing.
Next day I changed accommodation so I could be central in town and sat by the riverside watching people on the Laos side going about their business. The giant lorries are loaded three at a time onto what looks like a simply bamboo raft, to get them across the river to Laos. The riverside was a popular place, lots of locals go down early evening to watch the boats, sit and eat and drink or exercise. The ice cream van only caters for children as the only lolly I could get was one in the shape of a bunny!
Alan had asked me the night before if I could run his bar whilst he and his wife had their first night off. That would not be a problem. Turned out he only kept the bar open a couple of hours then we all went next door to drink at his friends bar. It was a 4am finish this time but you have to love a place that will give you a bar after being there only a day. Finally I got a bike and cycled out of town into the hills and mountains. The scenery was stunning. I passed tiny villages and workers burning the corn and pulping it. Not many foreigners go out this way and the locals thought I was mad for cycling in the heat. Not one person drove past me (either on motorbike or lorry) without pipping their horn and waving. It made such a difference having gears on the bike – I actually got up the hills thought I didn’t quite manage the 60 degree slope on the mountainside.
After all this effort, only one thing remained. To have my last Thai massage. Up until this point all my masseuses’ had been tiny little Thai women. Today’s lady was rather bigger. In fact she was obese. This makes a big difference when she came to stand on me. I was told I was a “good farang” so I obviously bore the pressure and pain well. The parlour had individual cubicles so I actually managed to get a photo before drinking my blue tea made out of local flowers. Strangely it tasted like corn. I have really enjoyed my time in Chiang Khong and didn’t particularly want to leave. Everyone here has been so friendly. But my visa has run out. Laos is literally over the river and I can see it, so how different can it be...
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