Kong Lor Caves

On my third morning in Vientiane, I woke up itching, finding myself covered in bites – bed bugs – urhh. Why had they taken three nights to get me, well I can only surmise it was because on my arrival I asked for an additional blanket from reception. A huge thick blanket was taken out of its plastic wrapping for me. (It may be in the high 20’s during the night but I still get cold!) I slept sandwiched in this blanket on top of the bed rather than in it. It must have taken the bugs a while to get through my giant new blanket. But the experience just topped off what I thought about Vientiane. It was time to leave...and fast. But where to...

Kong Lor caves were another place I had earmarked for visiting before the trip started, however after my experience at Phonsavan – being the only one there, I was sceptical about making the long journey into literally the middle of nowhere. After quite a bit of internal discussion I decided to go for up. I was picked up at exactly 9am – the time I had been scheduled to be picked up (I was expecting closer to 10 – already I was impressed) and there was a Korean chap on the tuk tuk who also was going to the caves. The tuk tuk then went on to pick up another 3 westerners – I was not going to be alone in Kong Lo after all. We were dropped off at the southern bus station and shown our bus. It was an old coach but comfortable and nicely decked out with pink frilly curtains over the windows. Even the playing of lao music only lasted for the first hour. Not that we got anywhere in that first hour. We were 15 min late departing, then we stopped for a chap to run across the road and collect something, then we stopped for quite a while whilst a female passenger did a bit of shopping in a local mini-mart. By 11am we were still at the outskirts of Vientiane – a distance that had taken by bus yesterday just 5 minutes to reach! Eventually we speeded up and got going. Disappointingly there was not much in the way of scenery for

the first 5 hours, just flat land, dirt and fields. As we neared our destination the landscape changed dramatically, we were in mountains looking down onto sharp jagged rock formations. As we descended the huge mountain range, it dawned on me that the cave would go through these mountains. The final couple of kilometres were rough rutted roads in which the bus lurched precariously from one side to another. This kind of travel makes me feel at home and needless to say I was not one of the passengers who kept hitting their heads on the ceiling. We arrived at our destination at 5pm – the bus actually pulled into the car park of an eco-lodge. The rooms were fantastic – clean, large with immaculate bathrooms – Vientiane guesthouses should take notes. Immediately I fell in love with the tiny village. I had a quick walk round before darkness fell, I watched workers bringing in the harvest whilst children jumped in the haystacks. The houses here are extremely basic, one wooden room on stilts, there are no luxuries in this village. Children came out to greet me, even the little old ladies (normally the ones to be relied on for frowning) were friendly. This is the first place in the whole of my travels (except when I was at sea) where there has been no internet connection signal. It was bliss.The following morning I wandered around the entire village trying to find some kind of breakfast that did not come with bacon. I could have had the toast and fried eggs on their own but it would have been the same price whether I had the bacon or not. My wanderings helped me local the only place that could sell me a can of sprite, everyone else stocked Coke or beer and eventually I found someone willing to do me an omelet. Unfortunately it was dripping in grease and not very nice but I ate it all – not only to be polite but who knows when my next meal will be. Back at my

guesthouse Korean Lee was waiting for me so we could go into the caves. The cave is within a national park which you pay a nominal entrance fee to get past the barrier. The national park has set up the tourist boats and the infrastructure to get the tourists inside the cave. You pay a set price for a boat, this comes with two crew but you can only have a maximum of three tourists in the boat. Lee was waiting so we could share a boat. We were given life jackets and made to wear them. This must be the only part of Laos that insists on health and safety! You could also rent powerful torches from the office. At the rivers edge, our boatmen indicates to a canoe that was knee deep in water. Lee refuses to get in until they have scooped all the water out. We totter in gingerly and are rowed across the river – it takes a minute maximum. As I get out I say “I hope that was not it!” Lee doesn’t understand humour and informs me that I have not to worry, the cave boat ride will be longer! As we walk down the opposite river bank towards the mouth of the cave, we hear raucous laughter and music. A group of young men / teenagers appear to be building a giant longboat and having a good time doing so.

The cave entrance is in the river, and the river runs the entire length of the cave and out the other side. Our boatman now points out some longboats, mercifully bigger than the canoe we had just been in. To my surprise the boats have petrol engines, I just presumed we would be rowed. The chief boatman sat at the back and navigated whilst the younger one sat at the front shining a beam of light and identifying rocks in the water. It only took a minute for us to be out of reach of the natural light coming in through the cave entrance and then we were in darkness. Our torches flitted around trying to make out the stalactites hanging from the roof. Our young guide used his torch to illuminate the more interesting features. Just as my eyes were adjusting to the gloom, dim lighting came into view and the boat pulled over. Our guys had no English whatsoever but it was clear we had to get out. As we did the boat disappeared off into the distance. A path had been created around a large island within the cave and lighting set up. On this island was an interesting assortment of stalactites and stalagmites. They were not the most impressive I have seen, but they were good and the eerie backdrop of the silent dark cave made them more unsettling and mysterious than the others I have seen. Lee was a very typical

Asian tourist at this point – they don’t dawdle, they take photos and race around the site, often missing big chunks out and that is exactly what he did. It was to no avail though, because I was not going to rush. I took my time and because they were wearing head torches I couldn’t exactly lose them in the distance. I met up with them and the boat at a different part of the island and off we set again. This is when the journey began to get spooky.All low level lighting quickly disappeared and we were back in near darkness. When it is this dark the river looks black and at times it is as if you are floating on nothing. The cave opened up into a vast chamber, the head-torch light unable to reach the walls or ceilings. The temperature dropped, the only sound was the put-put of the engine. It was strangely comforting. If we had of been there under oar power then there would have been no sound at all and that would definitely have been creepy. I defy anyone who is an unfamiliar and unusual place, in the pitch dark, unable to make out direction or distance not to let their imaginations start wandering. This eerie, mysterious boat ride continued for another 7kms. A light up ahead told us we were getting near to the exit. I could now see the cave exit. But the boat had stopped and we were hand gestured to get out. Were we going to wade the rest of the way? We were standing ankle deep on rocks at this moment. The boat had stopped because its way was blocked by a small rapid and a collection of high rocks. With us out of the way, the captain revved up the engine and went full pelt against the current up the rapids. First time he failed. Second time he failed but on the third attempt he made it – I was shocked, I didn’t think he had a hope of making it. We clambered back inside and the journey continued. We could not have waded out, the

river got deeper as we exited the cave and we were journeying another 10 minutes upstream (but in the beautiful sunshine) on the other side. We had a stroll about, waving to the local children and avoiding the herds of cows and water buffalo in the middle of the track. Lee was very excited to see the cows and when I pointed out the baby water buffalo he was practically jumping up and down for jot. He wanted to touch the baby but as the very large and angry looking parent was stood next to it, I suggested that he didn’t. There is a village on this side of the mountain that is only accessible through the cave. The villages only got their first tv in 2011 and live a very traditional life. It is possible to spend the night in a homestay here, but as the only food you would be served would be spit-roasted frog and fried insects, I decided not to take up the offer – I didn’t want to offend anyone by not eating their food. It was back to the boats and back into darkness. Again the captain surprised me by not making us get out when we got to the rapid, in fact we sped up and almost jumped over it. Lee was panicking especially when the boat rocked wildly from side to side. I was reminded of the James Bond scene when the speed boat flew over the road. On the journey back , my eyes adjusted better and I noticed how many rocks were in the river. The navigator was working hard making sure we avoided them all.

Many writers have repeated the line that traversing the Kong Lor Cave is the closest you will ever get to travelling to the mythical Ancient Greek underworld. After you had crossed his palm with silver, the ferryman would row you down the river Styx into the underworld, presided over by Hades. I can understand the analogy, our captain could have easily been taking us anywhere in that sinister darkness, the stalactites we could see looked suspiciously like Greek columns in the half-light and when we hit a further patch of rapids and the boat lurched dramatically from one side to the other – well that is how the entrance to the Underworld should be. Lands full of rainbows and unicorns are not reached via rapids in a river of darkness are they? The rapids were in the patch of water we had missed on the outbound journey. When we had been let out to walk around the stalagmite formations it turns out that the captain had been wrestling the boat through a series of rapids. Coming back we simply tumbled through them, at one point I thought the boat would tip, but it eventually steadied itself. Unexpected rapids in darkness is a very strange sensation and one I am not going to forget. In fact I will be remembering the entire Cave experience for a long time to come – it was unique, breath-taking and quite scary in parts!

As I made my way slowly back through the national park (Lee had already disappeared – I was dawdling too much ‘in the nature’) I noticed the boys building the longboat had gone. When I reached the village however, I realised that the boat had been finished and the lads were all sat about watching a chap varnish it with a giant car paint spraying device. There was lots of chanting and laughing and quite a bit of drinking going on.
That evening another bus pulled up from Vientiane and I ate with the new arrivals. After a few card games, it was time for bed. The following morning, there was alot of noise around 7 but then it went strangely quiet. I had intended to spend another night in this tiny village but as I walked around that morning, the place was a ghost town. I saw nobody except young children. The one shop was shut and neither of the restaurants was open. There was nobody in my lodge – the gate had been pulled across the eating area. I decided to check out and catch the next tuk-tuk into the nearest town. If I wasn’t able to get food here, I may as well move on. I packed and gave the money I owed for the accommodation to a 7 year old girl who appeared to have been left in charge. She wrote down the payment in the book and walked me down the street and indicated where I should wait. This

was all done without a word of English being spoken by the young girl. As I waited a young local chap came out of another guesthouse, I had met him yesterday and he had a pretty good grasp of English. I asked him where everyone was and he told me that today was the annual boat festival in Ban Na Hin – the next town. That explained what the lads were doing yesterday – building and varnishing a boat. Practically everyone had left town for the festival – those lads were competing in the boat races. Soon it became clear that the tuk-tuk had not turned up. I began to get worried as the chap went on to say that there was a possibility that the drivers had stopped for the day to go to the races. Oh no – what would I do? I sat and waited – not much else I could do. An hour later, a tuk tuk did appear and thankfully he was returning to town. I was the only passenger for the entire journey. The 43km took an hour and a half, with every giant rutt and pot hole being felt painfully in the back of the vehicle. I found a guest-house near to the bus station, it was not great – bed quality wise but at least there was someone there to give me a key. As I passed other better quality looking establishments – all of them were locked up. As was every restaurant and eatery in the town. The only place that was open was a small shack that alongside buckets, toothpaste and wicker chicken baskets had a few packets of crisps for sale. My seaweed flavoured

crisps did indeed taste like seaweed but by now it was half 12 and I was starving. I decided to walk in the direction that the cars were going as I figured they would be going to the festival. I was not wrong. But it turned out that Ban Na Hin does not sit on the banks of a river – they have a giant canal 6km away. The heat was searing down and as the path road turned to rubble I wondered if I would ever reach my destination – I had no idea at this point how far it was. Then a car stopped. Inside was a family with 4 children in the back. The mother indicated I should get in, and this amazing family, who could not speak a word of English, squashed me in the back and gave me a lift into the centre of the carnival. I was so happy and grateful that generous nice people exist. Can’t imagine that happening often in England – a foreigner who doesn’t speak a word of the language being given a lift anywhere!
By the side of the canal a huge market had been set up, selling everything from homewares: curtains, blankets, plastic bowls (these where proving very popular) to clothing: jeans, shirts, underwear, shoes to toys for the children. There were also a variety of game stalls: shoot the balloon with a rifle to win a prize, hit the ‘rat’ with a stick when it emerges from the pipe (the rat was a giant scrubbing brush), there was even a Ben 10 bouncy castle and a ride for the little ones. At one end of this market was a huge

stage with a band singing, but at the other end of the market was a variety of food stalls. They were selling everything, not just meat on a stick. I noticed eggs on a BBQ and eggs being steamed. On closer inspection I discovered that the tops of the eggs had been sliced off and the contents removed. The liquid eggs were beaten and I think alittle condensed milk added. The liquid was poured back into the egg shells and then either steamed or BBQ and served on kebab sticks. I had to try an egg. It was delicious. It had a very light fluffy consistency and tasted not surprising like scrambled eggs – only with a smooth mousey texture. I also got a couple of sticks of bamboo rice. Rice inside a bamboo tube and BBQ’d. I love bamboo rice. These tubes were plain, they did not have any beans in them. I was stuffed after this meal but I still managed to find room for an ice-cream from the ice-cream man. I was at a fair after all!
After filling my belly I went to watch some of the boat races. I was very impressed with the set up. It was so professional. The judges had racing computers showing the positions of the boats, there would be no guesswork if it came to close finish. I don’t think you can make it out from the photo but all the officials have shirts that say 2013 boat racing committee. There was high security for the committee booth and VIP area. If you didn’t have a badge – you were not going in. Even my stupid white foreigner who doesn’t know the rules routine failed to get me past security! Not being able to get to the VIP area made it very difficult to watch the races, the crowds were simply too great. I headed over to the far banking to watch from there but the distance was too great for my failing eyesight. I sat with a random family for a while and cheered for the boat they were supporting, it didn’t win which led to much head shaking and sighing. After a couple of hours I set off on the long trek back. I had only walked for 5 mins when a pick up truck laden with hundreds of children in the back, pulled over and let me jump in the front seat. The children were very excited about this and waved to me throughout the journey. There are very few tourists pass this way, in fact I did not see another westerner at all at the festival. I spent the remainder of the evening reading, venturing out at 7pm hoping someone might have opened up an eating stall after the racing finished. I had no luck what-so-ever. I passed lots of people drinking and chatting but no food for sale. Luckily shack man was still open so it was another packet of crisps and a processed cake bar for me. The cake bar turned out to be really nice. I went to bed rather hungry hoping that town would re-open in the morning!

Vientiane

I arrived in Vientiane (the capital of Laos) after a short 3 hour journey from Vang Vieng. There was nothing to note about the journey other than for the first time I was in a bus completely full of westerners – not a local to be seen. They did have appalling bladder control now I come to think of it. We had to stop after a mere 40 mins for an emergency toilet break and

then again just 20 minutes later. We ended up with 4 stops in 3 hours – what is wrong with these people? I got off the bus and started the search for a bed. Capital cities are always more expensive than anywhere else but the cost and the standard of the rooms here took me by surprise. The cost of an air-con room was a minimum $20 – I didn’t want air-con but if the rooms only had fans – then they did not have bathrooms, only shared bathrooms. Even so, these shared bathroom rooms were the same price as I had been paying for all my other en suite accommodation elsewhere. I looked at a few of these rooms. They were cell-like, they didn’t even have windows. Just a single bed and a hook in the wall to hang a towel. The beds were not even comfortable – the mattresses were so bad I walked out. After trawling the streets for some time I came across a sign promising reasonable prices. The place looked very run-down, The Lao Youth Inn, in fact there was a flood in reception as I walked in. But they did have fan rooms with en-suite bathrooms. I looked, spacious rooms with bathroom but the bathroom was very damp. Although the floor was obviously cleaned frequently the fan and light fittings were coated with dust. Nevermind – I’m desperate – I’ll take it. The mattress was just about passable and to be fair the hot water shower was amazing. Even when the shower wasn’t on, the ceiling dripped water on you anyway. It was an experience, plus I had a window looking directly over the Mixay Temple. The wats (temples) here in S.E. Asia are not like mosques. You do not want to be too near a mosque because the call to prayer will definitely rob you of sleep at dawn but the Wat’s do not make any noise, so proximity is not a problem. After finding shoddy digs, the next thing I had to do was investigate the immediate surroundings.

Vientiane was a mess. I arrived on Monday, the day after their 3 day boat festival holiday had finished. The long riverside road was a hive of activity as hundreds of market type stalls were being dismantled. It was noisy and crowded but it was the rubbish that was the problem. Laos has a big problem with rubbish and waste. Litter is dumped everywhere, streets are strewn with discarded plastic, cans, food waste. It is not just in towns, in rural villages houses are surrounded by crisp packets and plastic bags. When driving, people will wind down the window and throw their discarded plastic bag into the middle of the road. Lao people do not seem to mind the unsightly mess. The riverside street was ankle deep in debris all the way along, you could sort off pick your way through the garbage but the stench was unavoidable. Food waste (and lots of it) which had been sitting in the 30 degree heat for the last few days was really beginning to ferment. Originally most of the food had been wrapped in plastic bags but the local dog population had made short work of the plastic bags so most was now rotting in the open. This was my first impression of Vientiane. To make matters worse I could not find anything to eat. I found loads of Vietnamese, Chinese, Korean and French restaurants but not one of them had anything veggie on the menu. Eventually I saw a sign saying Laotian Goats Cheese Pizza. I sat down and ordered it, my mouth already watering with anticipation... only to be told they did not have any goats cheese. Disgruntled I found an overpriced restaurant with one veggie item – a margharita pizza.

The next day I was hoping I would warm more to the city. I had been really looking forward to visiting and using a traditional herbal sauna and massage that was situated in an old temple on the outskirts of town. I had been told it was one of the best in the country. Before setting off I checked that my directions were correct, only to be told that the sauna had burnt down in August and it was not going to be rebuilt – gutted. How was I going to spend my time now? I enquired about the cost of a sightseeing trip, to be told it was $55. Who on earth pays these ridiculous kind of prices? This was just a trip around the city. I hired a bicycle for $1 and visited all the sights (bar one) within 3 hours. The furthest away was 3km. I visited the Wat Si Sisket, the oldest temple in Vientiane and home to the most amount of Buddha’s. I climbed to the top of Patuxai, Vientiane’s homage to the Arc de Triomphe and I went to the golden stupa known as Pha That Luang. It is the most important monument in Laos – Buddha’s breastbone was supposedly entombed on this site in the 3rd century B.C. It was certainly an impressive structure – it literally dazzled in the afternoon sun. After more disappointing food – aimed at tourists with no spicing what-so-ever, I treated myself to a 2 hour massage. Eventually after 5 months of massages I may get enough flexibility to touch my toes but then again, probably not!

My final full day in the capital was spent visiting the tourist attraction I missed out yesterday. Xieng Khuan or Buddha Park is located outside the city and requires a bus to get to it (or a tuk-tuk for $25). I spent $1 each way on the bus that took me to the Thai-Laos Friendship bridge. It had never dawned on me up until this point that Thailand was literally over the river. Hence the wildly inflated prices, tourists have usually just flown into the city or crossed the bridge from Thailand. The ones coming in off a plane are usually willing to pay anything. From the bridge I climbed in a shared tuk-tuk and paid another $1 each way for the tuk-tuk to drive us down the very rutted, dirty, dusty road to the park. Out of the mud and the dirt and the dust, an oasis of greenery appeared, looking as out of place in the barren landscape as I had done on the local bus. The park occupies a small site – you could walk around the perimeter in 10 minutes but is crammed pack full of statues, many of them massive – taller than a house. The sculptures are based on both Buddhist and Hindu mythology or a merger of the two. The place really has to be seen to be believed. Although a small site,

you could quite happily spend 2-3 hours there (as I did), even more if you brought a book or a picnic. The place was built in 1958 by a shaman called Luang Pu but I could not find out if he merely collected the statues and designed the layout, or sculpted the statues himself or a combination of the two. Some of them did seem alot older than the others. At each end was a monument you could climb up, one resembled a Mayan pyramid (and brought back vivid memories of me being scared to death whilst climbing the dreaded pyramid no 5 in Tikkal) and the other looked like a giant orange with a gargoyle face, in which you climbed through the mouth (memories of Blackgang Chime here), climbed the steps inside the dome and came out on the roof, where there was another mouth and what looked like a huge tv aerial mast. Parts of this park were very surreal.
After wandering round the sculptures two or three times and finding something different to see each time - even the back of each statue was richly decorated, it was finally time for me to head back. Buddha Park had enabled me to enjoy some of my time in Vientiane and making my day even better was the fact the restaurant I had visited a couple of days earlier had replenished its supply of local goats cheese and I was able to enjoy a pizza that evening.